Navigating the dating scene and guided by an acerbic friend, a modern woman holds her own and finds her match.

The date

Spec script

INT. FEMALE BEDROOM - AFTERNOON
The room is generous, modern and noticeably stylish.

XAVIER, a tall, rakish man, is perched on the edge of the bed. His dark eyes are TWINKLING as mirth creeps slowly across his face. He leans to the side, GRACEFULLY dodging a dress that is hurled from an open wardrobe.

XAVIER
Do you really think you'll find the perfect dress
for the Podiatrist buried in the bottom of that wardrobe?

CARLA, a stylish woman in her late 40s, sits back on her haunches, blows an unruly curl from her eye and GLOWERS at XAVIER.

CARLA
He's an optometrist.
And this is you helping me right?

XAVIER
I'm trying, but you keep hurling dresses at me.
It's like the 90s are flashing before my eyes.

XAVIER scans the scattered clothes, grabs a red dress and THRUSTS it in CARLA's direction.

XAVIER (CONT'D)
You had THIS when we were at uni...100 years ago!

He CASTS the dress over his head and it lands on a vase of flowers on the side table. The whole vase teeters, and completely oblivious, XAVIER looks at CARLA's horrified face.

XAVIER (CONT'D)
What?! You can't honestly still wear it?
Why can't we just go shopping...what? What is it?

XAVIER turns just as the vase stops rocking. He sees the dress draped over the flowers.

XAVIER (CONT'D)
A vast improvement...you know I hate roses.

CARLA
They're peonies.

XAVIER
Whatever. Let's go. I can't spend another moment in this 90s tragedy.

CARLA sighs, looks up to scan the remaining pieces still hanging in her wardrobe. As she gets to her feet she sees XAVIER gathering the dresses from her bed.

CARLA
What are you doing?

XAVIER
Saving you from yourself.
We're taking a detour past the closest charity shop. Somewhere, someone going to a fancy dress party will thank me.

INT. BUSTLING COFFEE SHOP - LATER

At a table in the corner, XAVIER sits sipping a macchiato watching HORRIFIED as CARLA PLUNGES her fork into a giant piece of OOZY chocolate cake.

There is a bag from a boutique beside the table and CARLA eats HUNGRILY.

XAVIER
I am practically nauseated right now. How can you eat that?

CARLA (mumbling around a mouthful)
Because, it happens to be delicious.
And shopping makes me tired and cranky.

XAVIER (haughtily)
I'm sorry. What was that? I don't speak cake.

CARLA swallows, takes a long drink from her chocolate milkshake and EXHALES LOUDLY with pleasure.

XAVIER (CONT'D)
There's chocolate on your nose.

CARLA swipes a hand across her face, winks at XAVIER and stands up.

XAVIER (CONT'D)
You know, it amazes me how you can be so poised at work and such a...

CARLA
...delight...?

XAVIER
…juvenile.

CARLA tilts her head back and sighs at the ceiling, shoulders drooping.

CARLA (resigned)
Oh c'mon XAVE, you know I hate dating.
Why did I have to swipe right?

XAVIER
Because I live with you and I know that
what you keep in that top drawer is getting a serious workout.

XAVIER gets up and weaves his way through the tables towards the front door.

XAVIER (CONT'D) (over his shoulder)
You know, I couldn't find batteries for the remote
the other day and I could have sworn we had a jumbo pack.

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE COFFEE SHOP - MOMENTS LATER

XAVIER turns as CARLA catches up and they both burst out laughing.

CARLA
You're a bloody horror, you know that right?

XAVIER
(glancing at the shopping bag)
Nude heels, not black, you're not a hooker and it's not prom.
Have fun with the lobotomist.

CARLA (sighing)
Optometrist.

INT. OPTOMETRIST CONSULTING ROOM - SAME AFTERNOON

TOM, an optometrist, is in his office. His deep blue eyes magnified behind a pair of modern spectacles he is reviewing test results. His young, ubercool technician, JOSH is hovering.

TOM
I thought I'd take her to that coffee shop on...

JOSH
..Wait. A coffee shop? Why don't you just friend-zone her?

TOM
No, seriously, they have this incredible chocolate cake.
It's been written up...

JOSH
Oh my god, sabotage much?
Women don't want to eat cake, and certainly not on dates.
They drink martinis and eat lobster rolls.

TOM (innocently)
I'd like to eat cake on a date.

JOSH (pointedly)
And...that's why you're single.
I'm booking you somewhere cool.
Jeans, crisp shirt, blazer, loafers...no socks!

JOSH disappears leaving TOM to his admin.

TOM (to himself)
No socks? Good grief.

Just then TOM's phone pings and JOSH's head appears in the doorway.

JOSH
Booking's for 7:30, address and map is attached.
And don't be late, that place does NOT hold tables. I had to pull some serious favours to get that booking.
And NO dad jeans.

JOSH disappears once again. TOM sighs, tilting his head back, he exhales at the ceiling.

INT. CARLA AND XAVIER'S TOWNHOUSE - EVENING

CARLA descends the stairs looking chic in a black sheath dress and nude heels. Her hair is up in a messy bun, loose curls frame her face and her make up is natural with a slash of red lipstick.

XAVIER is waiting downstairs, he beams, nodding his approval.

XAVIER
Wow, the Geologist won't know what hit him.

Just then the doorbell rings. CARLA jumps in fright and slips, gracelessly GRABBING for the bannister. Her bag goes flying and CRASHES to the foot of the stairs EXPLODING lipstick, tissues, dental floss and nasal spray.

XAVIER looks INCREDULOUSLY from the contents to CARLA

CARLA
Shut up and help me. He's waiting outside.

XAVIER and CARLA scramble to refill her bag and XAVIER clicks his tongue, shaking his head in DISAPPOINTMENT.

XAVIER
And not a condom in sight.

CARLA stands and smoothes her dress, pulling herself together. She catches XAVIER's eye and stifles a nervous laugh.

CARLA
Just get the bloody door.

XAVIER opens the door and graciously welcomes TOM inside.

The two men introduce themselves and TOM catches sight of CARLA as he enters. They smile awkwardly at each other.

TOM
Lovely to meet you.

CARLA (smiling shyly)
You too.

XAVIER is standing between them and smiles IMPISHLY as he looks from one to the other.

CARLA notices XAVIER's expression and bustles TOM towards the door.

CARLA
Shall we?

TOM exits and as CARLA follows she glances back inside.

XAVIER has hoisted his trousers up and is wiggling his toes. He looks down to his bare ankles and back to CARLA.

XAVIER
No socks. I like him already.

CARLA rolls her eyes and closes to door as XAVIER calls out in a STAGE WHISPER.

XAVIER (CONT'D)
Have fun with the proctologist.

CARLA shuts the door on XAVIER's GLEEFUL chortle.

INT. MODERN RESTAURANT - EVENING

TOM and CARLA are seated at the bar. They have menus in hand and are taking in the surrounding activity.

The BARMAN approaches.

BARMAN
What can I get you guys?

CARLA
Um, A vodka martini please. With extra olives if that’s possible.

BARMAN (Turning to TOM)
And for you mate...

TOM hesitates. Glances briefly at the menu and finally orders.

TOM
I know it's not on the menu, but I'd love a chocolate mudslide.

CARLA turns to TOM, eyes widening in astonishment. The BARMAN nods.

BARMAN
Kahlúa, vodka, cream, Irish cream and chocolate syrup, right? My mum was a huge fan.

The BARMAN heads off and TOM turns to CARLA and shrugs.

TOM
I know. Not the coolest thing to order.
But, I have a weakness for chocolate.

CARLA (beaming)
Oh my god! Me too!

TOM visibly relaxes. The BARMAN returns with their drinks and the two share the mudslide cocktail, chatting animatedly. CARLA's martini sits forgotten to the side.

INT. CARLA AND XAVIER'S TOWNHOUSE - NEXT MORNING

CARLA eases the front door open. XAVIER is in the kitchen, the juicer WHIRRS noisily.

CARLA quietly closes the door and slips off her heels. CREEPING up the stairs, she hits the fifth step and it CREAKS. She freezes. The juicer stops. CARLA closes her eyes.

XAVIER (calling out)
Evidently a good night then?

CARLA (calling out)
Yup. He shared his chocolate mudslide.

XAVIER appears in the hallway, wiping his hands on a tea towel.

XAVIER
PLEASE tell me that's a euphemism.

CARLA turns and makes her way down the stairs, shooting XAVIER a indulgent look as she heads to the kitchen.

INT. THE KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

CARLA slides onto a stool, dropping her shoes to the floor. Leaning forward, she stretches her arms across the breakfast bar. Her head SLUMPS down and she closes her eyes.

XAVIER walks around the bench, picks up his fresh green juice and takes a sip. Looking across at CARLA, he tilts his head to the side.

XAVIER
He wore you out then? He is quite handsome.

CARLA
He's lovely. And he loves chocolate. He bakes...even got his patissier's qualifications.

XAVIER places his glass on the breakfast bar.

XAVIER (sarcastically)
Sounds like a catch.

CARLA lifts her head to look at XAVIER. She sits up and leans forward across the breakfast bar. HOLDING XAVIER'S EYE, she hovers low over his glass and extending her tongue, WAGGLES it in the juice.

Leaning back, she slides the glass towards XAVIER. A CHALLENGING glint in her eye.

XAVIER (CONT'D)
I'd keep that behaviour until at least the fourth date. I take it there will be another?

CARLA grins, NODS ENTHUSIASTICALLY and XAVIER rolls his eyes. Swiping the glass, he turns and pours the contents down the sink.

XAVIER (CONT'D)
C'mon. Get cleaned up. You're buying me breakfast.

FADE OUT.